¤ ||| last entry ||| ¤

i never thought i could hate the only person i ever loved.. but guess what.. i do...

u make up the most fucked up excuses.. think about what u do.. actions make a reaction.... ur still the same lil immature boy long ago.. u never real grew up.. u cant make ur own fuckin decisions...

i accepted what u were.. but yet u crossed the line.. u lost my trust by twisting everything into ur own pleasure and lost and took away the love i willfully offered u.. u were my everything..i wanted to dedicate my whole life to u..  but some how u couldnt see that.... u always thought about urself.. never about me...

i was probably the only person in ur life that ever understood u.. and if i didnt i tried to be there for u...i fuckin defending u from everyone that didnt believe in us...now.. i feel so stupid ... im a stupid idiot who should have never done what i did.. i should have listened to everyone else.. for they were right..

 through every lil shyt that u were in... i was always there to lend u a hand... a shoulder to cry on...when u were having trouble in school.. when u were having family trouble.. yup.. nana was there.... when u thought all was lost.. i helped u find ur way.... i ran to ur house...i even went to ur job.. but no.... u just couldnt see..

threw all our 9 months away.. threw away our friendship.. our love... our future.. our everything...u destroyed me.. and our love.. i was ur friend.. ur girl.. ur lover.. ur wife... ur baby... never again will i fall so low..never..i hate you.... hate is such a strong word... but thats what i feel.. hate....

love does not conguer all... it does not bring u to college, or bring home money to support u.. it can be either both ur best friend.. or ur worst enemy.. it does not bring u to graduate highschool.. ..love is a temporary feeling that people have .. an illusion... because that feeling always goes away... why couldnt i see that... y didnt i go with my own theory... never again will i fall in love... never...

i dont want to talk about this anymore.. im glad i let this all out....